oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
