The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
