i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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