I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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