I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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