I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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