Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you have to choose: penises or morals?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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