Where is the hickey?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
