Don't you send me to vm
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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