Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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