good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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