I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
