I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Non-Jews are for practice
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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