yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
