Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Panties = found
Randomize
