Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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