Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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