I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
