he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
