Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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