We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
