Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
