$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
