went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
