I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
