Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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