he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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