someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
