hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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