ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
