Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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