But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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