ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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