I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
