During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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