You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
