I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize