Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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