What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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