So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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