I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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