I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize