What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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