OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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