My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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