i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
