The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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