this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
