i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.