She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
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its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
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the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???