he shaved USA in his pubs
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
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Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in