i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...