I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
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My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half