This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im so drunk with asians
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already