It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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