Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
