try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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