I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
