I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
