I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize