He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
