Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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